Cinderella had a Swarovski Slipper

Cinderella had a Swarovski slipper. I glanced down to see bare feet and chipped nail polish. Cinderella had a pumpkin that turned into a carriage, and based on that little transformation I figured anything was possible, right? I squinted out the window. Nope, the old "sled" was parked where I left it.  Cinderella had a fairy god mother. Hello...anyone there? Silence.  She must be busy.  Cinderella had retired from the scullery. I was still unloading the dishwasher. Cinderella had Prince Charming. I had a husband. 

We were still newlyweds. Reagan and I had been married for maybe 8 months...long enough for the school loans to appear in the mailbox after the generous 6 month "grace" period concluded.  We had dated forever...since high school. We were engaged for longer than forever, and that summer our dream had come true...we were finally married! On June 17, 2000 I was Cinderella and he was Prince Charming.  We were embarking on our very own fairytale, living under the same roof, making 2 incomes, buying furniture, hosting barbeques...you know being really grown up.  But here we were 8 months later and I wasn't feeling so much like Cinderella anymore.  Yes, there were 2 incomes, but there were also 2 sets of debt.  Those last few months of college had been rough for "Prince Charming". He ran out of money...but hey there was always plastic...you know buy now, pay later...and we were paying alright!  Our castle was an 800 square foot apartment with walls that felt like they were closing in every day.  I was teaching, he was playing pro soccer and needless to say "Cinderella" was going one direction and "Prince Charming" was going another.

So that night as I unloaded the dishwasher and sobbed because our checkbook balance read less than $50.00, I wasn't feeling very confident that this fairytale was going to have a happy ending.  No, I'm not talking about divorce. Divorce never crossed my mind, we loved each other.  It was just this devasting realization that we were living LIFE together not a fairytale.  It wasn't easy. It wasn't perfect, like I imagined.  I knew I had said for better or for worse...but when you are standing there looking at one another on your wedding day it's hard to see beyond the big dress and the bowtie (as you can see from the pictures, I'm speaking quite literally :).

But as I put the last glass away, shut the cupboard door and slowly slid my back down the refrigerator and rested on the floor, I looked at the ring on my left hand.  I remembered what it meant. It meant I was his. No matter what dreadful balance was on the ATM slip, how small our apartment was, or how many more soccer games I would have to endure, I was his.  He chose me.  He chose me to live this life with. He chose me to be his Cinderella not just on our wedding day when I felt like one, but he also chose the girl that scrubbed the floors and picked up his dirty underwear.  I woke up and realized right then and there that we had to live beyond the fantasy and walk each day of this fairytale called "Life" out.  In a book called Wild At Heart, author John Eldridge describes a man's desire to have a battle to fight and a beauty to win.  And the beauty, that's you, does want to be won, but we can't merely stow away in the tower.  We have to leap on the back of that white horse and hold on tight to our Prince.  We have to slay the dragons of selfishness, ward off the darkness of temptation that creeps in, and ride resiliently through the forest, dodging the branches to escape the jaws of mediocrity that want to eat us up, that want to make us another statistic, that want us to be like the rest of the world.

I also couldn't forget that I had chosen him. I couldn't forget that I had promised forever. I needed to change my attitude from the "I have to love him" attitude to the "I get to love him" attitude.  I needed to see my husband for the man I knew he could be, but love him for the man he was right now. I needed to be his beauty...a woman that depended on him, and yet could stand on my own two feet. I know this sounds contradictory, but it's not.  Your husband, like mine wants to take care of you, but that requires a willingness on your part.  Personally, I have an incredibly independent spirit...Im a go-getter type if you will. I can get things done, many times on my own...but that's not what either of us signed up for.  We decided to forgo our individual sports to play the team sport of marriage.  I had to learn to let him lead me, and I anticipate this will be a stretching statement for some, but I decided to be one of his best students. I could learn from him, follow him...I could (brace yourself here comes that despised word) SUBMIT to him. I could submit to him when I learned that submission didn't mean I was robbed of an opinion, it just meant I was not going to be in rebellion.  Ladies, it such an incredibly peaceful way to live your life.  It releases the straps of those ginormous bags of stress that we were never meant to carry.

But a man also appreciates a capable woman, a woman that has her own backbone, a woman that can think and make decisions.  Do I like taking the trash out? No. Do I like taking my car for an oil change? No.  But can it do it? YES!  I'm not suggesting that you're less of a wife if you aren't willing to take the trash out or whip into Jiffy Lube for an oil change, but what I am suggesting is doing what needs to be done.  Reagan and I have the privilege of running our own business together, and while we do each have individual roles we are also both 100% partners. You've probably heard the story of the two Clydesdale horses. Each horse can pull a 2 ton wagon, so naturally you would assume when hitched together they could pull a 4 ton wagon...but you're wrong.  Together they can pull up to 10 tons.  They are better together.  You have to stay hitched together, you have to run together in every pursuit, whether it be marriage, business, raising a family, or building a ministry.  I wanted my husband to be confident in my abilities, trust my instincts and most of all be proud to call me his wife.

Furthermore, I could not forget that on that sunny, humid June day when we said our marriage vows we also invited the Holy Spirit to be the tie that bound us.  And if we get back to the Cinderella story, whether you are married, have a desire to be married, or are happily single at the moment, you have someone far greater than a fairy god mother on your side. You have a Father in heaven that loves you, sent His son Jesus to die for you, and left His Holy Spirit here to lead, guide, and direct you.  He is not waving a wand around saying magical words...He doesn't operate that way. He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords...He is all knowing and always present, and He created within us the ability to choose.  He wants us to choose him because He has already chosen us and let me promise you one thing, no matter what your slipper size, His slipper that He desires to place on yor foot will fit every time!  That slipper is His love, a love so great that once we choose to accept it every sin is erased. A love so great that it's all we really need. It conquers every giant, every dragon, every evil that that will ever try to pursue your heart, your marriage, your family, your life. 

His LOVE heals, His LOVE forgives, His LOVE releases authority and is the source of ALL joy. And I would say that is a very happy ending.

So here's to 11 years of marriage to my "Prince Charming".  I'm so glad we have a battle to fight together and thank you for making me your beauty to be won.  You continue to win my heart every day with your love, your generosity, your passion and your commitment to me, our future, and the calling the Lord has put on your life.  You've always made me feel so needed...from the days in our freshman year of high school being your human "Cliff Notes" to the boxes of handwritten letters confessing your undying love in college...and of course today, 11 years later your dependence on my ability to find everything you are in search of :)  We have something beautiful together and like a fine wine...it just gets better and is worth an even greater price with age. So here's to many more years of leading, laughing, loving and riding off into the sunset together.  I LOVE YOU!